I can't count the number of times my boyfriend and I had the argument...discussion...it lead to the most dreaded thing in any relationship: an ultimatum. It should never amount to that. The problem begins like this: yet again, I have to bail on plans with my boyfriend because a) I have been gone at school then work and need to be home for my dog b) I have been out with him a lot already that week and I need to be home for my parents or c) I have been hanging out with him or been at work a lot that week and I have a crapload of homework. When I have to bail on him for the dog, I can feel all Hell breaking loose.

My dog was a puppy mill dog, then ended up in an abusive home, before being dumped at the shelter and entering the rescue system. He came to me with a lot of emotional turmoil and 2.5 yrs later he is still on that road to recovery. He's also been my comfort creature whenever I have needed a cuddle buddy. He's got a bit of ADD, OCD, any kind of disorder that makes a dog do things in 5's, bark almost incessantly when he's nervous/anxious/irritated/bored/mad at me for being gone all day. He's a lot of work but at the end of the day those almond eyes get to me and he curls up with me and all is well. So when I need to be home for him, it's important. So eventually I had to lay down the law with my boyfriend...don't make me choose between boyfriend and dog...that choice will ultimately end with the dog winning, which wouldn't make me happy since I love my boyfriend...

For a long time my closest friend (not "best" because that label is too...generic...) was a guy. He was also my, what I like to call, "junior high sweetheart" because we 'went out' off and on both years of junior high. We'd break up, I'd date some other schmuck, but I'd eventually go back to him...until the end of 8th grade when I pretty much decided I hated him...and we didn't speak except to fight over his arrogance or whatever, until our Spanish II teacher placed us next to each other (for entertainment, I swear, because everyone in class loved to see us fight). We became friends again and were pretty much inseparable for the rest of high school...

Senior year, I was dating a guy, but didn't know how he felt. We went out, once in a blue moon, we talked all the time, he had pet names for me, it was cute, it was sweet...he was my prom date but I reached a point where I realized for whatever title we had on whatever it was that we had, I was done with it. So we broke up, and I was kinda miserable afterwards (spent 10 months together), but I ended up spending more time talking to this just-a-friend-guy-friend.

So fast forward a few years, and this guy friend and I hang out a lot. I date other guys, still stay his friend, but it's never more than that. Finally, I reach ... the ultimatum. I told him that we couldn't stay in that grey area anymore...I was beginning to care for him more than a friend, and I felt something more from him as well, and he was more involved in my life than just-a-friend would be...so I told him we either had to date and actually commit to some sort of relationship, or we had to be JUST FRIENDS, no takesies-backsies and no riding that fence between friendly and friendlier...

He chose friendship and I met the guy who is now my boyfriend of almost a year...Meanwhile this guy friend and I still tried to hang out every now and then but between work and school and now the dog rescue my mom has, and now boyfriend, I ran out of time. I probably see a girlfriend or two once or twice a month (well I get to see one every week now that we attend the same school...an excellent re-addition to my life =] )...so I was seeing him as much as I see any other friend.

Eventually he admits that he never made the "next" step because he was afraid of ruining the friendship, and he'd rather have had me as just a friend than nothing at all. So today he asks me will he ever get to see me again. And I've had the discussion with him countless times. I don't have time, it's unreasonable for me to ask him to cater to my odd crazy schedule, and I am not going to cater to his insane school/video game schedule, and ON TOP OF THAT, my now almost-one-year boyfriend knows of the past that this friend and I have, and he isn't comfortable with one on one time spent with him. I get that. I have no desire to spend time one on one with a guy who was never 100% sure about his feelings for me, who when we would spend time with me or integrate me into his life, I felt...I don't know...like our friendship was always on the cusp of something more.

It's irritating.

And then on top of that, I offered to spend my Saturday night with my mom, because I want to for one reason, but also...because my boyfriend of almost one year keeps inviting me to come over to stay the night, but of course, I need to ask permission from my parents. And I keep bailing on him because I know that the permission won't be granted. So I bail on my boyfriend to spend time with my family. And then I get told by my dad that he's just waiting for me to "leave mom jilted" because "something better comes along".

At 20 years old, working and going to school, I am entitled to spend time with my boyfriend. Especially one who I see myself being with for a good time to come.

I am getting sick and tired of people pulling me in millions of directions. I am only one person. I'd love it if for once I wasn't being guilted into hanging out with people (old guy friend); or made to feel like I have to choose (old guy friend/parent(s)/boyfriend).